Beyond the Mask
by DracOnyx
Summary: An excerpt from Seph's life before Nibelheim, chronicling Zack, Cloud, and Seph's life in SOLDIER. NOT YAOI! Please Read and Review *COMPLETE*
1. Thoughts

Disclaimer - I don't own any of the FFVII characters. If I did, I would be rich and making a movie of it or something : ) However, that doesn't stop me from wishing that I own'd Sephiroth.

  
  
  
  


AN - This would be my first FFVII fiction, so bear with me. I have a few InuYasha fics up, however, so if you like my writing and you're interested in InuYasha, go read em : ) Other than that, enjoy my fic, read and review . . . yadda yadda yadda : )

  
  


This Fic takes place sometime before the Nibelheim incident, at the high point of Sephiroth's career, just after Cloud has joined Soldier. Some events may be a little twisted, and some facts a little warped, but bear with me. It is, after all, a fan fic.

  
  
  
  


Beyond the Mask

An FFVII Fan Fic

by DracOnyx

  
  


Chapter 1 - Thoughts

  
  


Sephiroth stared down at the desolate plains surrounding Midgar, his eyes speculative, lost in his own thoughts. His silver hair shifted gently in the light breeze, swirling behind him like a living banner as he lounged on the roof of an old abandoned house, one knee drawn up to his chest, his other leg dangling from the edge of the roof. He came here often to think, to get away from the groupies and the constant burden of being the famous General he was. He sighed, shifting his weight slightly to get more comfortable.

"Why does it always have to be this way?" he muttered to himself, frowning slightly at the horizon. "Always a war somewhere, always killing and death that needs to be accomplished in some damn hell hole. And it's always my fault . . . always me that has to make the life and death decisions. Not that damn fat bastard sitting in his high and mighty office, not all those lazy saps who do nothing but push paperwork around all day . . . just me." He growled softly to himself. "Why is it that I'm the one with countless deaths on my hands, the one who has to suffer the guilt of every needless casualty?"

'Because it's what you were born to do . . . what you were created to do. You are an angel of death . . . that's what Hojo made you to be,' a voice in him answered. 'Deep inside, you love every minute of it, admit it.'

"No," he murmured. "I do it because someone has to . . . Hojo be damned. If I didn't do it, someone else would . . . someone who cared less about the men . . .someone who wouldn't be so careful to try and preserve as much life as possible."

'You mean someone who wasn't as good at it.'

"That too."

'When are you going to accept what you are, my son? Why let these feeble humans push you around? You are so much more than they are . . . and could be even greater then you are now, if only you would . . .'

"If only I would what? Accept that you're not just a voice in my head? Bullshit. You're just another part of me . . . I may be an experiment, but I'm still human." He frowned as the voice in his head laughed, a hideous, inhuman sound.

'You persist in believing in that? You continue to delude yourself, my son. You are no more human then I am.' He growled, standing slowly to be sure of his footing before he leaped to the ground below, landing cat-like before striding off towards the train station, pulling his hood over his head to hide his face and hair. It was time to return to his duties . . . as much as he hated them, he couldn't escape them for long. Besides, if he immersed himself in them, eventually that annoying voice would go away.

It had been there since his childhood . . . whispering words of comfort and revenge in his head as he endured Hojo's painful tampering, singing songs of love and devotion to him in the dead of night, as he lay in his bare room sweating out whatever treatment Hojo had subjected him to that day. At first he had thought it was just his imagination, but it was still with him even now, and he had begun to wonder. He was free of Hojo now, and still it spoke to him . . . he wondered if perhaps his childhood had caused him to develop a second personality. He didn't dare discuss it with the Shin-Ra psychologists though . . . eventually, it would make it's way to Hojo and he'd be submitted to more tests and torments. The only time it was truly silent was when he stood bathed in the blood of his enemies on the battlefield, his sword dripping with the crimson fluid of countless bodies.

Carefully he rebuilt his emotionless shell, his mask to the world that allowed him to continue to do his job. It was so hard, sometimes . . . but then, he'd been hiding his emotions since he'd become old enough to understand what his place in life was. He'd never been what the world called 'normal' . . . far from it in fact. He often wondered what he'd done to deserve his lot in life . . . had he committed some horrendous deed in a past life that he was paying for now? Surely no deed deserved to be punished in such a way . . . but then again, maybe there was some deed that did. It was the only way he could make sense of what had been done to him since the day he was born.

He snorted at the direction of his own thoughts. Utter nonsense. There was no rebirth, there was no God . . . there was just birth, the horrible comedy they called life, and then sweet and peaceful death. At times he thought longingly of that peace and determined to end his life then and there. But his will to survive and carry on was so much stronger . . . and his healing capabilities made it down right impossible anyway. As he'd heard it said once "The universe isn't really cruel . . . it just doesn't give a damn one way or the other." 

"No kidding," he grumbled, boarding the train silently. Life was just one great big hell, and if there were any Gods up there, they'd long since abandoned humanity to whatever fate they had been dealt by the cosmos. He sighed, shifting in his seat as the train began to make it's way towards the upper plate, and stared out the window, waiting to arrive back at his self made prison.

  
  


*----------*-----------*-----------*---------*

  
  


"The batch of new recruits looks promising . . ." Zack murmured to the silent ghost-like figure at his side. They stood behind a one-way window above the training floor, watching silently as the newest batch of recruits were put through a vigorous training routine. He ran a hand through his unruly black hair, watching as one particular recruit, a boy with spiky blonde hair and an infectious grin, helped one of his neighbors up off the floor from where he'd been thrown, laughing at the sheepish grin on his partner's face at being thrown so easily.

"If we are lucky, all of them will survive the Mako infusion," was the only reply he received. Zack shuddered at the emptiness in the voice. Sephiroth had been vague and distant all day since he'd returned to the building after disappearing for hours, and Zack was unsure of how to handle this slightly off-centered version of his boss. Admittedly, the man was no fountain of warmth, but with his background, who would be? Zack had managed to crack through some of that icy exterior, but even he walked on shaky ground sometimes with the enigmatic man. On occasion, it was like trying to walk through a fully loaded mine field while blind. But he pressed on, knowing that he was one of the rare people the General trusted to know the real man, not the cold face he presented to a world that had already shown him how cruel it could be.

"Seph . . ." he murmured carefully, "is there something wrong? You've been . . . well, to put it bluntly, you've been one cold bastard today, even to me. Is there anything I can do to help?" He glanced up to find a wry smile on the usually proud and emotionless face.

"I've just . . . got a lot on my mind lately, Zack," Sephiroth murmured. How in the world did you begin to tell a man you considered your only friend that you thought you might be losing your mind? He sighed, shifting his gaze back to the spike haired recruit. There was something about the boy . . . some half-sensed feeling of destiny that had him on edge. 

"Maybe you should get out for a bit? You know . . . have a night life or something?" Zack grinned. "Perhaps it's time to find you a woman!" Caught off guard, Sephiroth stared down at his lieutenant, one eyebrow raised in graceful self mockery.

"Me? Find a woman? What makes you think I lack female companionship?" he said, his mako green eyes shifting more blue as he grinned sardonically. Zack snorted.

"Oh, I don't know . . . maybe the fact that you stay holed up in that damn office of yours till all hours, and then go straight to your suite to do some more work?" he murmured sarcastically. Sephiroth shook his head and turned back to studying the new recruits. "Oh, come off it Seph . . . you really do need to get out some."

"And how would you suggest I do that, oh know- it- all?" Sephiroth murmured back. "Everywhere I go, I'm recognized . . . and as for finding a woman . . . well, when I find one that doesn't worship the damn ground I walk on and is interested in me and not my looks or my fame, I'll let you know." He snorted. "Which, as I'm sure you can realize, is not fucking likely to happen."

"Come on, Seph. Don't be such a damn pessimistic bastard. There's got to be a woman out there somewhere for you . . . and as for going out, we can disguise you easily enough." He poked the taller man in the ribs, knowing he was pushing his luck, but unwilling to let it rest. Sephiroth really did need to get out . . . it was unhealthy for a person to be so self-contained. He was rewarded with a grunt and a long-suffering sigh.

"Oh, all right Zack. Just lay off. If you can come up with a plan, I'll go out tonight. It's Friday, we've got a whole weekend . . ." Zack pumped a fist in the air before he got control of himself. "But . . . you're going with me. If I have to suffer, so do you." Zack grinned.

"And what made you think I was gonna let a socially inept bastard like you out of my sight in the first place?" He accepted the cuff to the back of his head with good grace, but it didn't wipe the grin off his face at all as Sephiroth turned to descend the stairs to the training floor, his face once again set in it's emotionless mask. It was time to greet the new recruits . . . the new sacrifices to Shin-Ra's consuming greed.

  
  
  
  


To Be Continued

  
  


AN - Like it? Hate it? Let me know. I'll even deal with flames, I guess.


	2. Stepping Out

Disclaimer - I don't own any FFVII stuff besides my copy of the game and a few figurines, so don't sue me : )

  
  
  
  


Chapter 2- Stepping Out

  
  


Sephiroth eyed his appearance in the mirror, trying not to grimace in disgust. Zack had managed to find a temporary hair dye that turned his hair black, and a pair of sunglasses to hide his rather distinctive split-pupil eyes, but now he had to change his clothes? He snorted in contempt, and turned to eye the ensemble lying across his bed. Tight leather pants and a emerald green long sleeved silk shirt, with a black leather vest . . . at least he could still wear his boots.

He sighed, sliding his long legs into the pants fairly easily. Where did Zack come up with these clothes? Never mind . . . he wasn't really sure he wanted to know. Knowing Zack . . . well, they could have come from any number of places, none of which Sephiroth wanted to contemplate for too long. He stood, sliding his muscular arms into the shirt sleeves with a sigh. The silk was nice . . . the pants were annoying, but comfortable at least. Buttoning the shirt to the collar, he slid the vest on and then bent to shove his feet into his boots. He left the Masamune leaning against the wall . . . Zack had threatened him bodily harm if he'd so much as thought of bringing the damn thing with him. He grinned at the thought. Both he an Zack knew damn well that it was an empty threat . . . his lieutenant didn't stand a chance in hell if it came down to a fight against him . . . but for once Sephiroth fully agreed with him. That sword above all else would give him away, and the whole point of this outing was to forget that he was the mighty general for once.

A knock on the door brought his attention back to the current situation. He moved slowly to answer it, adjusting the vest self consciously. What he wouldn't give for his trench coat about now.

Zack stood smugly just outside the door, his eyes making a once over of his superiors appearance before he gave a nod of approval. 

"Not bad . . . but undo a few shirt buttons, huh? Loosen up a little, we're supposed to be out to have fun, not going to a formal meeting." He sighed at the look Sephiroth gave him. "Aww, come on man. It's not gonna kill you, geesh." Grumbling, the taller man did as Zack suggested, unbuttoning the first couple of buttons to the shirt deftly. "Better. Now come on, I know just the place to go."

Sighing, Sephiroth followed the shorter man down the hallway to the elevators, his now-ebony hair swaying gently against his back with his movements. He already felt naked without the Masamune near at hand, and he was supposed to go out in public like this? He shook his head slightly, stepping into the elevator with the air of a man marching to his doom.

Zack grinned and looked back at his sulking superior. "You don't have to keep the social mask up now, you know. No one is gonna know it's you . . . you can try to be just a normal human being tonight."

'Humph. If only he knew . . . you'll never be a 'normal human'. You never were.'

'Shut up. I'm not listening to you tonight, or ever, so give up and go back in my subconscious where you belong,' he told the voice silently.

'If only you realized what I am . . .' the voice faded off. He sighed in relief. He really did think he was losing his mind. Maybe it was the stress of the job. He looked up as the elevator stopped at another floor, opening up to reveal, of all things, his new recruits. He glared at Zack, who only grinned in reply before making room for the new arrivals. He rolled his eyes. Trust Zack not to see the annoyance in this situation.

The last to board was the blonde recruit, his hair standing up in spikes that seemed even more out of control then they had earlier. 'You know . . . the word 'buzz cut' comes to mind there,' he mused to himself as he watched the boy run a hand through the mess, trying to tame it. All he succeeded in doing was make it worse.

"Hey guys . . . sorry it took so long," he said, grinning widely at his friends. Then he noticed who they were sharing the elevator with. "Oh . . . hello Lieutenant," he mumbled. He looked unsure as to whether he should salute or just nod his head in greeting. He didn't even spare a second glance to the other occupant. Zack's grin widened as he noticed the boy's indecision.

"At ease, recruit. We're all off duty . . .well, most of us anyway," he added with a glance to his silent companion. Sephiroth just shrugged, vaguely amused. It seemed Zack's disguise was working after all.

"Where are you heading, sir?" the blonde asked curiously.

"Reload. I heard the night life there can be pretty interesting, so me and . . . ummm, Phiro, are going to check it out."

"Phiro?" Sephiroth mouthed silently at Zack, one eyebrow arched in question. Zack just shrugged and grinned at him. He sighed. Reload. Joy of joys . . . Zack was dragging him to a nightclub. He should have guessed. Zack was determined to make the most out of his success in getting him out on the town.

"Really? That's where the guys and I are heading. We figure to make the most of this weekend since starting Monday we'll be full time training," the blonde said. 

"Hmm. What's your name, recruit?" Zack asked suddenly. The blonde stuck out his hand, which Zack took in a brief handshake.

"The name's Cloud. Cloud Strife, from Nibelheim."

"Well, Cloud . . . what do you think so far?" Zack asked. Sephiroth stared at him. He really was pushing to the limit tonight.

"So far, so good. Training seems pretty steady at pushing us to our limits, and the food and board is great . . . so's the money, from what I hear. So," he shrugged, "it's fine, so far."

"Hey Cloud!" one of the others spoke up. "What about the General?" Sephiroth's eyebrows shot up. This could get interesting. Cloud shrugged.

"He's a great man . . . a military genius, so they say. I admire him. He seems cold . . . but I guess he would have to be to do his job." Sephiroth caught Zack looking at him worriedly. He shrugged slightly, a slight smile playing over his features to show he wasn't offended. He actually found it rather amusing. These new recruits had no idea that the very man they were discussing was standing behind them, lounging against the elevator wall. He listened to the conversation silently, chuckling to himself as they discussed the "Great General Sephiroth". If only they knew how much the screams of the wounded and dying haunted his dreams at night . . . how often he woke in a cold sweat to stare at his hands, sure that they were permanently stained in the blood of those he had killed. He doubted he would seem so great then.

Zack sighed in relief when the elevator finally hit the ground floor, spewing it's contents into the lobby of the Shin-Ra building. Sephiroth had been too quiet for his liking . . . other then a few chuckles now and then at something one of the recruits had said. He knew how much the general beat himself up inside about the people he had killed or the troops he had ordered into battle . . . hell, he'd sat by the man's side a couple of times as he tossed and turned in the grip of a nightmare that had him calling out to his victims to forgive him. He shook his head, and strode towards the front doors, feeling Sephiroth fall into step beside him naturally. He grinned as he stepped outside and met the roar a the few dozen girls gathered there.

"Your fan club's here, Seph," he murmured to his companion, aware of their companions nearby ears.

Sephiroth snorted as he glanced at the giggling bimbo's holding pictures of him above their heads. Steadfastly ignoring them, he strode to the sidewalk, looking back at Zack with the air of a man who would only tolerate so much. Zack shook his head, grinning as he jogged to catch up to the longer strides of his boss. He could hear Cloud and his group of friends following slowly, admiring a few of the girls in the crowd, wolf-whistles sounding out at a few of the more buxom girls.

"See, I told you no one would recognize you," Zack huffed as he finally caught up.

"Yes, you did. That was rather amusing," Sephiroth murmured. "Now, where the hell is this night club you're dragging me off to?"

"Lower plate, Seph. They're more . . . rambunctious and fun down there. Not like the stiffs that live up here." Sephiroth snorted, and turned towards the train station.

  
  


To Be Continued

  
  


AN- Not sure how far I'm going to go with this . . . It's just sort of been floating around in my head while I try to work on two other fics. There will be at least one or two more chapters. So, read, review, tell me what you think. Oh, and for those of you who like Seph (or drool over him) what you think of the outfit? I just got a mental image of that and had to go get a mop : P I couldn't help it, that man was just too damn good looking for an animated bad guy.


	3. Clubbing

Disclaimer - I don't own any of the characters from FFVII, as much as I wish I did.

  
  


AN - You know, this originally started out as something in my head . . . and things just sort of went down hill from there. Now it's 17 pages long typed on my computer, and I'm scared. Talk about your mind running away with your fingers : ) Well, anyway, enjoy, and please review when you are done. Give me the nerve to post the other FFVII fic I'm working on : ) And yes, I know Seph is ooc from the game . . . I really don't think he was a cold bastard all the time . . . besides, this is before the Nibleheim event, as I said, so : P

  
  


Chapter 3 -Clubbing

  
  


Sephiroth stepped into the club, wincing as the noise levels assaulted his sensitive hearing. The air was warm and humid . . . the result of too many human bodies pressed and sweating in such a confined space. A hand planted in his back shoved him forward, propelling him into the darker recesses of the club. He turned to glare at Zack, who smiled innocently and continued to shove him forward. He found himself suddenly immersed in warm, moving bodies, Zack still at his back, propelling him towards the bar and the tables that surrounded it. He sighed, allowing Zack to maneuver him across the dance floor like a human shield. Why did he ever agree to this? Because Zack wouldn't have left him alone otherwise, he knew. His lieutenant could be stubborn like that at times . . . especially when it came to drawing him out of his self-imposed isolation. 

Finally they reached an empty table, and Sephiroth visibly relaxed. Being around so many people . . . being casually touched, even unconsciously . . . it was setting every alarm in his head off at an alarming rate. He'd never been into being touched . . . mainly because while he was growing up, every touch had meant pain in some form or the other. It had taken Zack a long time to get him to stop flinching from every casual gesture, and he still tensed to run whenever anyone got too close or too friendly. It helped that there were very few people who would dare to touch him anyway.

He sank down into the chair gratefully, his casual sprawl done with his usual elegant arrogance and natural grace. Across from him, Zack chuckled quietly.

"You look like you just ran the longest race of your life," he smirked, unfazed by the glare that got directed his way.

"This will take some getting used to . . . you know how much I hate being touched," he grumbled, glancing out at the packed dance floor.

"It won't kill you, Seph. Not all contact hurts," Zack murmured.

"Yes, I know that . . . but teaching my mind that and re-programming ingrained instincts isn't just casual work." He snorted. "You can hardly say I don't have reason."

"I know you have reason . . . but it was a long time ago. You're a SOLDIER now, and out from under Hojo's care. You've got to get over what he did to you sometime, Seph, and live your life. It's not healthy to remain alone." Zack winced at how harsh he sounded. That was not the way he wanted to start this night off.

Sephiroth nodded, watching the press of bodies out on the dance floor. He knew what Zack said was the truth, but it didn't make it any easier. He would always be the outsider, the one who was different, the one who didn't fit in. He'd come to accept that, on some level, and knew that, although Zack was trying, he wouldn't succeed as fully as he hoped. In some small way, Sephiroth knew that he just wasn't meant to be like other humans . . . he wasn't meant to find a woman, marry, and settle down. He would always be alone . . . Hojo had taught him that fairly well. No one wanted a freak and a science experiment for a life-mate. Hell, he was surprised Zack was his friend. It still startled him on occasion, how fully Zack accepted him as he was. Perhaps Zack was a unique person that way.

He was pulled out of his musing by a mug being set down on the table in front of him. He glanced at it, then raised an eyebrow in Zack's direction, quietly querying his friend as to what was up.

"It's called a White Russian, whatever the hell that is. Sounded good to me, and I know you don't like beer," Zack replied, taking a gulp from his own mug. He knew he didn't have to worry about Sephiroth getting drunk. The man couldn't, even if he tried . . . which he had done once, actually. Zack remembered the night vividly. It was the only night he'd ever seen Sephiroth break under the stress of the job, and had been the beginning of their friendship. 

  
  


*Flashback*

He knocked on the door softly, stuffing the files under his arm. When there was no answer, he pushed gently, surprised when the door opened inwards under his soft touch. He stepped inside carefully, noting the non-existent lighting. He knew the General had come up here, and he wanted to get him these files on their next assignment as fast as he could. He deposited the files on a nearby table, and went in search of his errant superior.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he finally saw him, lounging in the window seat, staring down silently at the bustling upper plate below. He was clad in only his pants and boots, the Masamune resting on the floor nearby, a bottle of liquor dangling half empty from his hand. Several other bottles, already empty, lay scattered on the floor nearby.

"Sir?" he called softly, trying not to startle the man. Who knew what he would do with that sword if he was drunk and surprised?

"Did you ever wonder . . . why it is that humanity carries on, even in the face of no hope?" the man whispered. Now that Zack was closer, he could see the blood tracing over his superior's arms, and lining the blade of his sword. Concerned, he stepped nearer, stopping as mako eyes turned to stare at him silently before returning to the scene out the window.

"Sir . . .?" he asked quietly, sensing that somehow his superior was opening up in a way no one had seen before.

"I'm tired . . . of everything. Of having to order men into battle to die . . . of causing death myself. It never seems to end." He held up his hands, staring at them as if they were somehow new and unrecognizable. "How many lives have I ended . . . how much blood stains these hands? How many more lives will fall to my blade by the will of Shin-Ra?" He sighed, his hands dropping back into his lap, the bottle of liquor forgotten where it had fallen. "I wish I could just make it all go away . . . but Hojo managed to deny me even that satisfaction. I heal too quickly for any damage I deal to do the job." Zack gasped as he put the pieces together. The man who he so admired . . . the man who no one knew, who had no emotions . . . had tried to kill himself? Bending down, he picked up the blade and dragged it to the couch, then returned to move the empty bottles to the trash receptacle. Returning, he stared down at his superior, wondering how drunk the man was.

"I'm not drunk," the reply startled him. Could he read minds? "I can't even do that to escape this hell. My metabolism is too high . . . and my genetic makeup too abnormal." He chuckled to himself. "There is no escape for me . . . not ever. I am what I was bred to be . . . what I was created to be. This is my life . . . this is my hell." He turned to stare up at Zack, his eyes dark with emotions that the lieutenant couldn't put label to.

"This surprises you, doesn't it? That I'm not as perfect as everyone seems to think . . ." He smiled in self mockery.

"No sir. Everyone has to have a breaking point . . . you just happened to have hit yours. Perhaps . . . perhaps you should rest now?" Zack murmured. He was surprised when the general nodded slightly.

"Perhaps you are right." Sighing, he stood, and moved towards his room. Suddenly, he stumbled, something Zack thought the man could never do. He went down hard on one knee, his back hunched in pain, as if waiting for some blow to fall. Striding swiftly to his side, Zack lifted an arm around his shoulders and helped him to his feet and over to his bed. Setting his superior down on the side of the bed, he pulled back the covers, then assisted the man into bed, pulling off his boots before covering him carefully with the blanket.

"Goodnight Sir," he murmured, starting towards the door to the bedroom.

"Sephiroth."

"What sir?" he queried from the doorway, turning to stare at the sprawled figure behind him.

"My name . . . is Sephiroth. Not sir. Please," the figure murmured.

"Well, goodnight . . . Sephiroth."

  
  


*End Flashback*

  
  


That had been over two years ago now. Since then, their friendship had developed far beyond the rank structure imposed by SOLDIER, to the point where Zack was the only person Sephiroth saw during his off hours. Mainly, it was due to Zack's stubborn refusal to leave the man alone, to allow him to sink back into the depths of self-hatred he was usually wrapped up in. Zack continuously pestered and prodded him, while never stepping beyond his boundaries as lieutenant if there was anyone else around during duty hours. He never really did know why Sephiroth had chosen to open up to him, of all people, but he was honored and grateful to have the man as a friend.

He studied the man silently as Sephiroth stared out at the dance floor. Although he only knew bits and pieces of the man's past, he knew enough to feel genuine sympathy for his friend. Growing up under that freak Hojo had to be bad enough . . . but to be experimented on day after day as well? It was a wonder to him that Sephiroth was even remotely capable of interacting with the rest of humanity at a normal level. Although he didn't know what those experiments had consisted of, he had some idea. Sephiroth often had nightmares, and Zack had often heard him pleading in his sleep for Hojo to stop some cruel torture or another. 'The man really is a mystery . . . and I'm his best friend!' he mused once again. He came out of his thoughts to find Sephiroth staring at him curiously. He shrugged and grinned, glancing out at the dance floor, quickly spotting a couple of good looking girls who were eyeing him. Knowing that it would be too much to ask to get Sephiroth on the dance floor, he stood and headed that way, knowing his friend would know what was going on.

Sephiroth grinned slightly and shook his head as he watched Zack make his way over to the girls who had been ogling him for the past five minutes. Leaning back in his chair, he signaled the waitress for another drink, watching the press and flow of bodies as the music pulsed and hammered out it's rhythm. He never understood what people found so relaxing about dancing. But then, many people didn't understand what he found relaxing in performing his kata's with the Masamune. He supposed the two were along the same lines . . . although he wasn't terribly positive about that.

He started and nearly lunged out of his chair as a feminine hand came down on his shoulder. He turned, glaring up at the woman as she withdrew her hand and smiled at him teasingly.

"Hi. I'm Melly. You look lonely." She stood with a hand on her hip, trying to look both seductive and innocent at once. Her dress was so tight it was like a second skin, and her hair was so teased it looked like a mushroom poof. Sephiroth snorted and glanced away. When she didn't move, he turned back to her.

"I'm not lonely."

"You sure look like it to me, honey. Why don't you let me keep you company?" she simpered. Behind his glasses, he rolled his eyes. This woman was absolutely disgusting to him.

"Oh, for Planet's sake, Melly, leave the guy alone. I realize you're looking for a new victim since Rick found out how much of a whore you are, but geesh." Out of the crowd emerged a ebony haired woman, her legs encased in black jeans, a fish net shirt over a black cut off encasing her upper torso. Her hands were stuffed in her pockets, her attitude one of relaxed indifference. She stopped a few feet from the lounging Sephiroth and stared at 'Melly' with icy contempt. 

Melly gasped and turned several shades of purple before storming off in a huff. Sephiroth stared up at his 'savior' as she watched Melly storm off before looking back at him. 

"Sorry about that. She's been on the prowl for a new piece of ass all night, and you looked like you could use the help." She stuck out her hand suddenly. "I'm Lissa . . . Lissa Martel." He took her hand hesitantly.

"Se . . .ummm . . Phiro," he murmured, shaking her hand before releasing it suddenly. He stared up at her. She reminded him of someone . . . from his past . . . but he'd be damned if he could think of who. It was almost like a half remembered dream. Her ebony hair hung in a loose braid down her back, her fists encased in fingerless gloves, her boots worn but sturdy. He shook himself as he realized he was studying her. What had gotten into him all of the sudden? It wasn't like him to stare at a woman and take in every tiny detail about her. "Thank you for that . . . ummm . . . timely rescue."

"Oh, it was nothing. I consider it my duty to warn every guy she goes for . . . after all, my boyfriend was one of many to fall for her tricks. You mind if I sit down and grab a drink? I'm dying of thirst after dancing for so long." Sephiroth nodded towards Zack's empty chair, inviting her to sit wordlessly as he signaled to the waitress. The waitress came, took Lissa's order, and left, leaving the two alone in a comfortable silence. Sephiroth spied Zack in the crowd, dancing energetically with three different girls . . . all of whom would be left with their hearts broken at the end of the night. Zack was already attached to a young girl by the name of Aeris . . . and Sephiroth knew he would rather rip his own heart out then hurt her. But, to keep up the SOLDIER image, he played just as much as any other . . . but it never got remotely serious.

"That your friend?" Lissa asked, looking in the direction Sephiroth was staring. He nodded wordlessly, turning back to face her. "Not a bad guy . . . seen him around here a number of times. He's supposed to be the second in command to General Sephiroth . . ." She looked at him questioningly. "You in SOLDIER too?"

"You could say that, yes," he replied.

"So . . . what you think of him?" she asked. Sephiroth glanced at her curiously. "About General Sephiroth I mean." 

"Well . . ." Now this was interesting. What to say about himself that wouldn't give himself away?

"You know . . . I think underneath that cold exterior is a heart that beats just like everyone else. I mean, the man must be hurting inside . . . all the killing he has to do for Shin-Ra and stuff. I wonder if anyone has ever thought to just be his friend? I doubt he even has any . . . guys like him would be too overwhelmed by people wanting to be near him to bask in his fame and glory." She leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand as she stared into the crowd. "You'd never find him at a place like this, I'll bet. He probably works all the time to keep himself company." He snorted, bringing her attention back to him abruptly. "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm rambling on, aren't I? So, what do you think of him?"

"I think . . . you would be surprised, in a way," he murmured, staring out into the sea of people. "The General is just very careful about who he trusts . . . but you're right about people wanting to bask in his glory. He gets it all the time, and it disgusts him. He feels . . . a lot of things, but bottle's it up inside. There's more to him than a lot of people know . . . or care to find out, for that matter." He turned to find her gazing at him in speculation.

"You sound like you've met him."

"I see him quite often." 'Yeah, every time I look in the damn mirror!' he sighed to himself. He was amazed at how insightful she had been into his character. 

"Well, thanks for the seat and the drink, Phiro. Maybe I'll see you again sometime." With a backward glance and a wave over her shoulder, she headed back into the crowd, disappearing from his sight quickly. As soon as she was gone, Zack appeared.

"Well?" he demanded, flopping down in the recently vacated seat and staring at Sephiroth pointedly.

"Well what?" he questioned, still staring off to where Lissa had disappeared.

"Who was the chick, and when you gonna meet her?" He started as Sephiroth chuckled softly.

"Her name was Lissa, and she was just . . . rescuing me from some unwanted attention. Get your mind out of the gutter, Zack," he said, turning to look at his friend.

"Well, I can hope, can't I?" Zack sighed, slumping in his chair.

"Missing Aeris?" Sephiroth asked gently.

"Yeah . . . think I'm gonna swing by her church before I head home . . .see if I can catch her tending her flowers. Think you can handle getting out of here on your own?" Sephiroth nodded and waved him off. "Thanks Seph."

"Just get the hell outta here already Zack. I think I'm big enough to take care of myself now." Zack grinned at him and headed for the door, Sephiroth staring after him in amusement. Oh yeah, Zack was totally hooked on this Aeris girl. He sighed, shaking his head. Now that Zack was gone . . . he could get himself out of here and retreat back to his suite . . . and his natural hair color. Standing slowly, he began to make his way towards the exit, when a yell from the dance floor caught his attention. Glancing over in that direction, he saw people scattering from the floor to the sidelines.

"Looks like a fight . . ." he murmured. He caught a flash of familiar blonde hair. "And it looks my new recruits are involved in it." Sighing, he turned back, and steeled himself to wade into the crowd so he could keep an eye on things.

As he neared, it looked like the recruits were holding their own . . . four of them against six burly guys. That was, until someone pulled a knife. Sephiroth spied the metallic glint easily, and decided it might be time he stepped in. One recruit was already down with a severe arm wound, and another went down as he arrived, holding his stomach in both hands as blood seeped through to drip on the floor below. He stepped up behind Cloud, catching the boy by the shoulder and spinning him into the crowd. Cloud stared up at him in shock.

"Get your wounded friends outside for transport back to quarters. I'll finish up here."

"But . . ."

"That's an order, recruit," he snapped, forgetting that they didn't know who he was. Surprisingly, they still listened, picking up their friends and dragging them off towards the door. Sephiroth turned to face the opposing men, and grinned mockingly. Taking off his darkened glasses, he shoved them in a pocket, eyeing the competition thoughtfully. 'This will be too easy,' he sighed, and readied himself for them to make the first move.

"You one of them SOLDIER pussies too, eh? Figures you'd travel in packs."

"Let me guess, SOLDIER are pussies cause they wouldn't accept you . . ." Sephiroth sneered. "Well, I can see why they wouldn't . . . they don't take walking trash." The man snarled and charged him . . . and found himself flying through the air into a wall as Sephiroth used his own momentum to fling him over the crowd. 

The remaining men swarmed him, and Sephiroth was actually tempted to laugh. He sank to one knee, his right leg kicking out to crash into a knee, his fist burying itself in the gut of another. He swept the legs out from under the third, rising swiftly to his feet to catch the arm of a fourth, twisting it until it snapped under his hands. The man screamed in agony and dropped to the floor, cradling his shattered arm to his chest, allowing his last remaining compatriot to get a really good look at their opponent . . . just as a fist smashed into his nose. With all the men down and moaning on the dance floor, Sephiroth dusted his hands off and walked away, oblivious to the stunned looks that followed him. He was unaware of the fact that he had been moving so fast he had been nothing but a blur to mortal eyes. 

"Wow," Cloud panted, catching up to him as he exited the dance floor. "That was incredible." Sephiroth glanced down at him, then turned his attention back to where he was going.

"You're friends are outside?"

"Yes. But, we don't know how we're going to get them back to headquarters. . ."

"We'll carry them. I'll carry one, you and your unwounded friend will carry the other . . . but first we need to get them healed." He pulled a materia bracer out of his pocket, slipping it onto his wrist easily. Somehow, he'd known going out with Zack would end with him needing some of his materia.

He turned to find Cloud staring at the bracer, and he raised an eyebrow in question.

"That's . . . those are MASTERED!?" Cloud asked in awe.

"Yes . . ." He kneeled down swiftly, summoning a Cure 3 from his mastered heal materia easily. He watched as the gut wound healed quickly, leaving unmarred skin and a shirt soaked in blood. The guy was out cold, however. The arm wound was just as easily dealt with, but they found once he was healed, he could walk. Sephiroth swung the unconscious recruit over his shoulder, and signaling to the others, set off towards the train station to catch their ride back up to the upper plate.

Sephiroth sighed when they finally returned to the Shin-Ra building. The night had been annoying at best . . . although the fight had been amusing. Zack was gonna pay for this one. He fingered his black hair in annoyance. "After, of course, I get this shit out of my hair," he mumbled. He couldn't help remembering the sentiments Cloud and Lissa had expressed though. Perhaps there were some people out there who could see beyond the mask he showed to the world . . . and who didn't really care about his fame and money. This would require a lot of thought.

  
  



	4. Enter Another

  
  


Disclaimer - I don't own any of 'em. I wish I did.

  
  


Chapter 4 - Enter Another

  
  
  
  


Monday morning found him once again in the shower, scrubbing the living hell out of his hair to get the last vestiges of the dye out of it. He hadn't stepped foot outside his own quarters all damn weekend, thanks to Zack's 'temporary' hair dye . . . which really would have been temporary, as long as you didn't have hair that was nearly white. He was beginning to think his hair would never be it's normal color again . . . he'd spent more time scrubbing his hair this weekend then he'd done anything else.

He stepped out of the shower and approached the mirror, wiping away the steam to look at his reflection. 

"Finally . . ." he snorted, as he found no trace of black in his hair. Returning to the shower, he quickly finished washing and turned the water off. As he was stepping out of the shower, he heard the door to his quarters open and close loudly.

"Seph?" Zack shouted from the living area.

"Yes, I'm here, and you are going to be put through hell, you son of a zolem! Do you have any idea how long it took to get that damn dye out of my hair?" He finished toweling off and dressed hurriedly, ignoring the bangs plastered to his cheeks. He'd take care of his hair in a minute. Storming into the living area, he glared at a snickering Zack, who was lounging against his counter top with a cup of coffee firmly in hand. He grabbed the second cup Zack had brought for him, taking a sip before grabbing an air materia off the shelf and summoning a slight wind to dry his hair.

"Well, you made quite an impression at the club Friday night . . ." Zack started. Sephiroth glanced at him curiously. "Everyone's talking about a tall, dark haired SOLDIER who kicked a whole lot of ass . . . and our new recruits are trying to find him so they can thank him." Zack grinned as Sephiroth grimaced in annoyance. "Oh . . .there is also a girl named Lissa looking for you . . . or should I say, looking for Phiro." He chuckled as Sephiroth looked up, intrigued.

"Why the hell would Lissa be looking for me? We barely spoke." Zack shrugged.

"No idea. Maybe she's interested?" Sephiroth snorted.

"Hardly." He shook his head and glared at Zack. "Do I really want to ask what we have on the agenda this morning?"

"Meeting with the president in about twenty minutes . . . then training for the rest of the day. You sure you're up to it?"

"The training, yes . . . the meeting I could happily do without," Sephiroth grumbled as he buckled the Masamune across his back. Unaware of Zack staring at him speculatively, he walked to the window and stared down at the bustling plate below.

Zack eyed his superior curiously from his spot near the counter. Sephiroth seemed a little . . . off, to him today. Like he hadn't quite hit his stride yet. Of course, that could be annoyance at the upcoming meeting. No one enjoyed spending time in President Shin-Ra's presence . . . and Sephiroth hated him more than most, because the President had been the one to back Hojo's experimentation. Zack could see a heated argument coming up already, and they weren't even near to the meeting yet. The president didn't understand Sephiroth's insistence on doing things his own way, and Sephiroth couldn't stand the way the man ordered men about as though their lives were nothing he needed to be concerned about. Actually, there had been several times when Zack had moved to restrain his superior for fear Sephiroth would stride forward and strangle the pompous ass. When one of Sephiroth's rare flashes of public emotion came through, it was nearly always anger that got away from his control . . . and it was always directed at the President or Hojo. Zack wondered sometimes if they even realized the ticking time bomb they had on their hands. Eventually, this man would snap and not turn his anger on himself. Zack really did not want to be there when that happened.

Sephiroth turned from his scrutiny of the plate below, snagged his cup of coffee, and headed for the door. Zack trailed him with his own cup of coffee firmly in hand. 

"You know Seph . . . you really aren't a morning person."

"I'm not an anytime person, Zack. All hours of the day are equally annoying," he grumbled as he locked the door to his suite and strode towards the elevators, Zack at his side.

  
  


*----------*-----------*-----------*---------*

  
  


The door to the President's office crashed open, leaving a dent in the wall behind it as Sephiroth strode out, ignoring the cowering secretary at the desk nearby. Striding to the elevator's, he jabbed the down button, and stood there, glaring at the wall with his hands clenched at his sides. Zack approached him at a more sedate pace, more worried then he'd ever been about his superior.

The President had just 'informed' his General that Professor Hojo required him in the labs for some 'progress tests', and that he was being ordered to submit to them, each afternoon, for the remainder of the week. Hojo had finally found a way to make it so that Sephiroth couldn't ignore him. Zack grimaced in disgust at the thought. Just as he was really making some progress with his friend, he had to go back to Hojo as a lab rat again.

The elevator arrived, and they stepped inside. Once the door closed, Sephiroth slumped to the floor, his head in his hands. Zack halted the elevator between floors, and turned to face his friend.

"Seph . . ."

"Don't say it. I knew Hojo would find a way to get a hold of me again sometime . . . I just didn't expect it to be so soon. At least now I'm strong enough to fight him if I have to."

"Seph, no one deserves to be that man's lab rat." Sephiroth laughed mockingly.

"You forget, Zack. That's all I am . . . a lab rat. An experiment . . . a freak that should never have come into existence." Zack reached out to his friend, unsure of what to say, only to stop his hand before it touched him. There was nothing he could do or say that would fix this problem. In the space of ten minutes, the President and Hojo had near completely undone everything he had managed to fix in the past two years. He sighed, dropping his hand to fist it on his thigh.

"You know you're more than that, Seph . . . I'm here if you need me," he said finally.

"I know Zack . . . I know." He sighed, raising his head to gaze at the elevator doors. "I'm going to go train for a bit, try to get control of myself before this afternoon. Think you can handle the training today?" Zack nodded.

"Yeah, I should be able to get through it. You'll be in Gym 7?"

"Yes . . . if anyone really needs me they can find me there. But it better be damn important." He sighed, rising to his feet and restarting the elevator in it's downward path. Zack rose to his feet as well, and stared helplessly at the man's back.

  
  


*----------*-----------*-----------*---------*

  
  


Sephiroth moved through his kata's smoothly, ending one and starting another in a flawless succession of movement. The Masamune leaned against a far wall, along with his trench coat. Inside, his thoughts didn't flow anywhere near as smoothly.

'Hojo . . . once again you'll have me under your needles and instruments . . . but this time I'm no weakling child . . .' he thought. 'Damn you . . . I thought I'd managed to escape you entirely by joining SOLDIER . . . but seems in order to do that, I'd have to leave the continent entirely.' He sighed, pausing in his kata's long enough to wring the sweat out of his hair. Turning to the Masamune, he began his kata's with that, the sword moving in a graceful dance of death as he tried to loose himself in the familiar patterns.

In the gallery above, Cloud watched the display with open admiration. He'd been sent down by the lieutenant to remind the General that he needed to eat sometime, but Cloud found himself completely unable to disturb the man below him. 

"No wonder he's the General . . . the man moves like a dancer with that blade," he murmured to himself, watching the muscles ripple across Sephiroth's back as he swung the blade in an intricate pattern. He fingered the handle of his own blade absently. "I wonder if I'll ever be that good." He snorted suddenly. "Yeah, right . . . maybe in my dreams."

He descended the stairs as Sephiroth came to a halt in his kata's and wiped the sweat from his forehead, figuring now would be a good time to approach the man. Sephiroth noted his approach and turned to face him, his face a blank mask, one eyebrow arched in question.

"Lieutenant Zack sent me to . . . ummm . . . remind you that you need to eat, sir," he said carefully, unsure of how to talk to this man who was a legend in his own time. Sephiroth nodded, and turned to retrieve his trench coat, shrugging it on over his sweat soaked skin before turning back to Cloud.

"You are Cloud, right? How is training going?" he asked.

"Fine sir . . ." Sephiroth nodded and walked past him to the exit. Cloud trailed behind him a few steps as he turned towards the elevators.

"You know how to use that blade on your back, Cloud?" the general asked suddenly, catching Cloud off guard.

"Ummm . . . not nearly as well as I'd like, sir, but I suppose I can defend myself well enough."

"Weilding a sword isn't about defense, recruit. It's about ending a battle quickly and decisively," Sephiroth said, punching the down button. "You seem pretty good in hand to hand combat . . . but sword work is much different."

"We'll be doing weapon training this afternoon sir . . ." Cloud was surprised to see the man wince when he mentioned this afternoon. He shrugged it off as muscle soreness and continued. "I'm surprised they allowed us to bring our own weapons, actually sir. I would have thought weaponry would be standard issue."

"I learned long ago that using your own weaponry makes the battle easier. The more familiar and attached you are to your weapon, the more likely you are to be able to use it well," Sephiroth murmured.

"I see, sir." Cloud replied. Sephiroth just shook his head.

"I doubt that you do, recruit. But you will soon enough." 

  
  


*----------*-----------*-----------*---------*

  
  


"Lieutenant! Lieutenant!"

Zack looked up from where he was overseeing weapon training to see a low level SOLDIER running across the floor at him. Heads turned to follow the man in his progress across the floor, blades lowering as curiosity got the better of them.

"Get back to your training, you lazy dogs, or you'll be seeing the side walk tomorrow!" he snapped. Turning his attention to his aide, he signaled the man to take over as he motioned the newcomer into an out of the way corner.

"It's General Sephiroth, sir," the man gasped out. "He's collapsed . . . in Gym 7." Zack barely heard the final part of the sentence. Grabbing the nearest recruit, he raced for Gym 7.

Cloud managed to keep up with the man, looking worriedly as his superior all out dashed for Gym 7. 'What's going on?' he wondered. He stopped wondering as the lieutenant slid to a halt behind a crowd gathered outside the gym door.

"MOVE IT!" he shouted, pushing people roughly out of the way so he could get to the door. "Damn it, why did he come down here instead of going to his office or his suite after Hojo was done with him . . . he has to remember he's usually sick after this shit . . ." He froze as he got to the door, then burst into action, sprinting the length of the gym to where his friend was slumped against a far wall. Cloud stared in horror before following him.

Sephiroth sprawled against the wall in a pool of his own blood, the silver strands of his hair falling haphazardly across his face, which was deathly white.

"Seph . . . god damn it, come on, wake up . . ." he heard Zack mutter as he raised Sephiroth's eye lids. His eyes were rolled back in his head, consciousness completely gone. "Shit," he muttered. Slinging one of the general's arm over his shoulders, he wrapped a second arm around the man's waist and lifted. Cloud quickly raced over and did the same on the other side. Between the two of them, they managed to half-carry, half-drag the man back to his quarters, Zack muttering swear words the whole way.

Not bothering to find a key, Zack kicked open the door, muttering something about "Seph can bill my ass for it later . . . if he lives through this . . ." as the lock splintered and the door swung open. Zack led Cloud to the couch, where they lay their companion down after Zack maneuvered him out of his coat and the Masamune. Moving to the kitchen, he wet a cloth, and came back, laying it over Sephiroth's forehead and moving to check his pulse. Cloud stared at him, puzzled, as Zack leaned back with a sigh of relief.

"His heartbeat is strong, if a little erratic. He'll live . . . this time."

"Sir . . . what's wrong with General Sephiroth?" Zack started in surprise . . . he'd forgotten Cloud was even there.

"You are to speak of this to no one, recruit. If I hear even a word of what I'm about to tell you, you will be out of SOLDIER faster than you can blink," Zack said, moving to sit in a nearby arm chair. Cloud nodded, and sat in a chair opposite him. "You're Cloud right? Seph was saying he thought you had potential." Cloud was stunned that the General had even noticed him, much less deigned to speak of him to his lieutenant. "General Sephiroth has to undergo . . . tests, by Professor Hojo on order of the President. I believe that these tests are what caused this today. Actually, I know the tests are the cause of it. There are things about the General that no one knows, recruit, things that I can't divulge to you now. Let's just say that Shin-Ra is attempting to create the ultimate soldier, and Sephiroth is the guinea pig they are conducting these experiments on." Cloud stared from Zack to the prone figure on the couch in horror.

"They're using him as a lab rat?! The greatest man in the history of the world, and they're trying to kill him with tests?!" Cloud asked, outraged.

"Calm down, recruit. They've just taken the Mako conditioning one step further in him. If it wasn't him, it would be someone else . . . and Sephiroth won't allow his men to face anything he hasn't." Zack sweated slightly at the little lie, but knew Sephiroth would be angry as hell if anyone ever found out the truth. He himself agreed with the boy that what Hojo was doing to his friend was monstrous, but he also knew what the real story and history was too. He looked at the boy thoughtfully. It might help Seph to have someone else he could talk to . . . and maybe if he could convince him to take this recruit under his wing, it would help Sephiroth to deal with his own demons. This boy did have potential . . . Seph was right about that.

"Sir . . . may I stay and help you care for him?" Cloud asked. If there was anything he could do for the man who was his idol, he would do it in a heartbeat. Zack nodded, and Cloud heaved a sigh of relief. Together, the two moved to the kitchen to chat until their charge awoke.

  
  


*----------*-----------*-----------*---------*

  
  


'My son . . . soon all will be well. Soon we will take back what is rightfully ours and these humans will pay for what they are doing to you.'

"Who are you?"

'I am Jenova . . . I am your mother, I am your lover . . . I am all you will ever need in this world.'

"My mother? But my mother . . . is dead."

'No my son. I am very much alive. Professor Hojo holds me prisoner, just as he holds you. Together we will punish that man for what he has done. Together, we will punish them all.'

"But, not all of them are bad . . . Zack, that girl Lissa . . . surely there are others . . ."

'NO! THEY ARE ALL HUMANS! THEY USE YOU! THEY MUST PAY!'

  
  


*----------*-----------*-----------*---------*

  
  


Zack watched, concerned, as Sephiroth moaned and tossed in his sleep. Cloud was out cold in Sephiroth's bed after a hard day of training, which left Zack to worry in silence over Sephiroth's condition. What new horror had Hojo inflicted on him today to cause this severe reaction?

"They're eventually gonna kill you, Seph," he murmured, staring at the sweat-soaked figure of his friend. "What the hell are they doing to you?" He started as Sephiroth suddenly cried out.

"NO! I won't . . . they aren't like that!" His eyes opened wide, staring at the ceiling in terror before confusion filled them. He turned his head to stare at Zack.

"Sephiroth?" Zack asked gently.

"Zack . . . where am I?" Zack heaved a sigh of relief at the question.

"In your quarters, Seph, where I dragged your sorry ass after you collapsed. What the hell were you doing in Gym 7?"

"I needed . . . to work out . . . some of my anger . . .I collapsed?"

"Yes. We found you in a pool of your own damn blood, you fool. You know you end up sick after Hojo's tests."

"I was feeling fine today, other than being mad as hell. Didn't think . . . I was gonna have a reaction this time." He sat up slowly, pulling the cloth from his forehead as he shifted so that he was sitting on the sofa. "Someone had to have helped drag me up here . . . I know you can't handle my weight alone."

"Cloud helped."

"The new recruit?"

"Yeah. He's a good guy. We talked a bit." He watched as Sephiroth stiffened, looking at him solemnly with emerald eyes. "Yes, he knows some of it, but not all. That's your business to pass on if you want to." Zack sighed in relief as his friend relaxed slightly.

"That's fine. I feel I can trust the boy . . . I can't quite explain it. I just do."

"That's good. You need more friends then me, you know." Sephiroth shrugged, and got shakily to his feet. Making his way slowly to the kitchen, he grabbed a glass of water and returned to the couch. "It was bad today, I take it."

"No worse then the usual shit." He took a sip of water.

"They're gonna kill you, you know. Eventually, these tests are gonna do more to you then they think and you're gonna die from it," Zack muttered. Sephiroth shrugged.

"Death, at this point, might be nice." Zack glared at him. "Oh, calm down Zack. I'm not gonna try to kill myself again. Hojo seems to be doing a pretty good job of that on his own." He sighed. "So, at any rate, how did training go today?"

Zack allowed him to change the subject. They discussed the flaws and strengths of the various recruits, ending with their new adoptee, Cloud.

"He's strong and fast, Seph, but his body may not hold up to the Mako conditioning. He's as good with that sword of his as you said he would be though. Once again, I owe you gil. He could be the best recruit we get out of this batch."

"If he holds up through the Mako conditioning." Sephiroth sighed. "I'd hate to lose such a good recruit because of that stuff. When are they scheduled to get it?"

"Next week. They got to make it through a full week of training first. We already had one recruit leave this morning."

"SOLDIER is not for the faint of heart, you know that Zack. It's better that they leave on their own then fall in a battle where people are counting on them."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Zack waved him off. "Shall we go wake sleeping beauty and grab some food? I noticed your cooler is, as usual, bare. I swear, you wouldn't eat if I wasn't around." Sephiroth chuckled and stood slowly.

"You go wake him up, I'll go get cleaned up."


	5. Endings and Beginings

Disclaimer - Aww . . . do I have to say it again? Grrr . . . fine, I don't own 'em. Happy?

  
  


AN - Last Chapter folks, Enjoy

  
  


Chapter 5 - Endings and Beginnings

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Cloud . . . man, you look like death warmed over." Cloud shrugged and concentrated on keeping his feet under him. Two days after his Mako conditioning and he still wasn't bouncing back the way they had said he should. At least this week it was all mental training, and nothing physical. Hopefully by the time they got back into the gyms, he'd be fine. He stumbled a bit, and righted himself quickly, glancing around to see if anyone had noticed. There was no one nearby.

Heaving a sigh of relief, he leaned against the wall, taking deep breaths and concentrating on his feet as his vision swam dizzily. It was evening . . . they'd just finished another class and he was supposed to head up to Sephiroth's suite to meet up with Zack and the General for dinner. He hadn't seen them since Monday . . . they had been out scouting for some upcoming training exercise. 

He was still surprised that the General considered him a friend. They never showed it outside of when they were all together, but Cloud understood that . . . Sephiroth had to maintain his unapproachable appearance in order to keep his men in line. Even Zack and he were careful outside of private quarters to maintain a professional appearance, and Cloud had fallen right in with that practice. He still couldn't believe that they had taken him into their confidence. It seemed like a dream to him sometimes . . . the two biggest names in SOLDIER were his friends.

"Cloud?" A familiar voice startled him.

"Lieutenant?" A hand pressed to his forehead, raising his head to meet Zack's concerned eyes. Zack winced.

"Shit. We were afraid of this. Come on, I'm taking you to the General." Cloud nodded, and slumped into Zack suddenly. Zack bent down, throwing the boy's body over his shoulder and strode to the elevator, punching the up button with his fist.

Once the elevator arrived, he stepped in hurriedly, punching the button for Sephiroth's floor hurriedly, and checking Cloud's pulse. It was erratic, pounding as if the boy had just run a marathon. "Fuck!" he mumbled. "We should have known. Damn it."

Arriving at Sephiroth's floor, he kicked on the door to announce his arrival. The door, as usual, opened before his foot could even touch it.

"One of these days you're gonna learn how to knock like a normal person . . . what the hell happened to him?" Sephiroth asked, staring at Cloud's limp body.

"The Mako conditioning. He's not holding up under it . . . as we suspected." Striding in, he set Cloud down on the couch and stepped back as Sephiroth bent to examine the boy. With as much Mako as he'd been injected with, he was an expert at dealing with Mako poisoning in others. He examined Cloud's eyes first, then felt for the boy's temperature and heartbeat. Finally, he sat back with a sigh.

"He'll survive this one, although at the moment it might be hopeful thinking . . . but he won't be able to undergo others. He'll stay here until he's over this though. I'm making it an order. Someone is going to need to keep an eye on him."

"What about his training? And the other recruits are gonna wonder where he is. . ."

"Too bad. They can wonder. As for his training . . .I'll work on it up here with him when he's awake. He'll be the best tactics trained recruit we have, at least." He grinned suddenly. "Damn Zack, you're a bad influence on me . . . I'm getting soft." Zack snorted.

"You and the word soft don't belong in the same sentence, Seph." Sephiroth snorted and stood up.

"I'll go inform his instructors of his condition and move his stuff to your quarters." Zack's voice followed him out into the hallway.

"What the hell do you mean, to my quarters!?"

  
  


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Cloud awoke slowly, staring up at the unfamiliar ceiling in puzzlement. 'Where the hell am I?' he wondered. Voices in the next room grabbed his attention. Although he couldn't make out what they were saying, he could tell it was Zack and Sephiroth . . . and Zack sounded rather annoyed about something. He stood slowly, waiting patiently for the slight dizziness to pass before walking to the door.

"God damn it, the President can't put you back under that guy's control! Didn't he learn anything from that last incident! They're gonna KILL you, Seph!"

"Look, Zack, I'm no happier about it then you are, but there is, unfortunately nothing I can do about it. He made it an official order, which means I can't go against it."

"What's going on guys?" Cloud interrupted. He figured it was time he let them know he was there. Sephiroth was beside him in an instant, making Cloud blink. He hadn't even seen him move. He submitted to the General's examination with a sigh. Finally, Sephiroth stepped back.

"It seems the rest did you some good. However, it still doesn't change the fact that you cannot undergo anymore Mako conditioning." Cloud looked at him in horror.

"You mean . . ." Zack nodded from over by the counter, his face sad.

"Your days in SOLDIER are done, Cloud. You'll be just a normal guard from this point on. Both Seph and I tried to pull strings, but the fact that your body can't take the Mako conditioning makes it impossible for us to do anything. In order to remain in SOLDIER, you'd have to undergo at least two more sessions . . . and you can't do it." Cloud collapsed into a chair, staring at him.

Sephiroth lounged against his bedroom door, watching the two. Cloud was taking it much better then he had expected, but then, he didn't have much experience with other emotions. Half the time, he barely understood his own. Zack hadn't told him the good news yet, though . . . if it could be considered good after being denied a position in SOLDIER.

"It's not as bad as it sounds, Cloud. As I said, we tried to pull strings to keep you in SOLDIER, but since that didn't work, we pulled other strings. Your unit is the one that Seph and I oversee . . . which means you'll still be going with us on missions." Cloud brightened at that, and Zack laughed. "See, I told you it wasn't that bad. Actually, Seph pulled more strings then I did . . . you've got new quarters. Right down the hall." Cloud turned to look at Sephiroth, who nodded once.

"I figured that if you had to take a step down in job, you could use a step up in quarters. This will put you not far from Zack and me . . . and should make our friendship a bit easier to keep under wraps."

"You guys did all this in the few hours I've been out?" At this, Sephiroth and Zack shared a glance.

"Actually, Cloud . . . you've been out of it for a couple of days now." Cloud stared at Zack in shock.

"Days?" he asked, confused. "How can I have been out for two days?"

"Your Mako poisoning was severe. I had to keep you sedated so you wouldn't hurt yourself while your body was working on accepting it. You were thrashing rather energetically." Sephiroth sighed. "And now, it seems, it will be my turn again."

"Hojo?" Cloud asked quietly. He knew how much Sephiroth hated the man, although he still didn't fully know why. Sephiroth had told him that the less he knew about it, the better off he was . . . but he wished the man would open up to him so he would understand. The General, while a friend, was still an enigma to him . . . and Cloud was pretty sure he would always be that way. There were a lot of secret's locked behind that mako gaze, some of which Cloud was pretty sure would turn a person's stomach.

"Well, enough of this serious stuff," Zack spoke up suddenly. "Wanna go to the club again, Seph?"

Much to Cloud's surprise, Sephiroth actually looked frightened for a second. 

"Hell no, Zack! You are NOT dying my hair with that wretched stuff again. It took long enough for me to get it out the first time." Hair dye? What in the world . . . wait a minute. An image surfaced in Cloud's mind . . . Zack, in the elevator that first day, with a tall, black haired . . .

"THAT was YOU?!" Cloud glared at Sephiroth, who had the good grace to smile slightly and bow. "Oh, Planet . . . and I TALKED about you that night!" Cloud wanted to die of embarrassment right there. "Why didn't you say anything?!" he demanded.

"How was I supposed to? I was supposed to be in disguise . . . Zack's idea, I might add." Sephiroth sank gracefully onto the window seat . . . his favorite spot, from what Cloud had seen. He was always sitting over there. Sephiroth drew one knee up to his chest, the other dangling to the floor. "I spent the whole weekend washing my hair to get the dye out afterwards." He shrugged, and looked at Zack. "However, I am not doing that again. You can go right ahead without me, Zack. I'll stay here, thank you." Zack turned his attention to Cloud.

"You wanna go, man?" Cloud shrugged, and nodded.

"Sure, why not? Nothing better to do . . . unless . . ." he looked at Sephiroth, who sighed in annoyance.

"For Planet's sake, you two, I am perfectly capable of being alone. I've been that way often enough, I think I'll survive it." He mumbled something under his breath, staring out the window. Zack looked at Cloud, who shrugged unknowingly. Who knew what was going on in that silver head right now?

Cloud and Zack left Sephiroth to his thoughts, and went to get ready for another night out on the town.

  
  


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Sephiroth staggered down the hallway to his quarters, his coat wrapped up in one arm, the Masamune dragging in it's sheath along the floor. He made it to his door and kicked it open, stumbling into the suite a few feet before collapsing to his knees on the floor. His blood felt like it was on fire, his skin burning back from his body as waves of pain crashed through him. He wretched, dry heaving as he collapsed onto his side. Curling up into a fetal position, he just wished for everything to go away.

Cloud found him like that a few hours later, blacked out on the floor, still curled into a fetal position, moaning. Quickly running to get Zack, the two of them managed to maneuver him back to his couch, where Zack once again placed a wet cloth on his forehead.

"Zack . . . they really don't give a shit what happens to him, do they?" Cloud murmured quietly, staring down at his hero . . . his friend.

"No, they don't Cloud. Eventually they are going to kill him with this shit . . . and we're the only ones who will mourn him as the man he is . . . not the image everyone has of him." Zack shook his head. "The only way for him to get out of it is to leave SOLDIER . . . and he can't and won't do that." He stared down at the unmoving figure. "He's had it worse then all of us combined . . . but he still won't give up. Because at least he has us, if no one else. Which is why I remain at his side through it all . . . so that he has at least one person he can rely on completely without seeming weak."

"He has me too, you know." Cloud muttered.

"I know Cloud . . . I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry. It's just . . . if I could tell you what his childhood was like, maybe you'd understand a bit better . . . but that's not my place to say. He sees himself as a monster . . . the screams of the dying haunt his dreams constantly . . . but as he says, if he didn't do it, they would find someone else who didn't care as much and wasn't as good at it. So he stays, and endures their tests and experiments . . . for us. So he can keep us alive, when another might not care how many were killed as long as the job was accomplished." He shook his head slowly. "I admire him . . . but I wish I could smack some sense into him."

"You and me both, Zack. You and me both."

"Will you stay with him tonight? I promised my girl I'd take her out to dinner tonight, and I'm already a little late for that, so I have to hurry." Zack looked at him questioningly. Cloud nodded.

"Yeah, Zack. Go ahead, I'll keep an eye on him."

  
  


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"We've got orders," Sephiroth stated as he walked into the briefing room. It had been a year since Cloud first joined the squad he was in. Since then, he'd been on more missions then he could keep track of. He watched Sephiroth carefully for any sign of the strain he knew his friend was under. The man had become more and more withdrawn in the last couple of weeks, mumbling to himself often as if he was carrying on a conversation. Zack and Cloud had become increasingly concerned, but were unsure of how to approach the subject with him. In every other way, he was the same guy they were friends with. 

There had been no more tests with Hojo for months now. The last one had sent Sephiroth into a coma for over a week, causing enough concern that the President had finally gotten his head out of his ass and told Hojo no more. Hojo had been seen storming out of the office that day . . . but the next day had returned with a smile and a nod. It had made Sephiroth concerned when he'd heard about it, but he was so relieved over the decision that no more experiments would be conducted that he'd dismissed it almost immediately.

Zack entered the room not far behind Sephiroth, as usual holding a ton of files and an annoyed expression. He shared a glance with Cloud as he set the files down on a desk, then went to stand in the back of the room near where Cloud sat. Where as Sephiroth was still very much a mystery to Cloud, Zack was an open book. The two had become close friends and went about together off duty often, leaving Sephiroth to his own devices. Sephiroth always seemed a bit more open when they came back, so they had begun to feel less guilty for leaving him out of the loop, figuring that he must be using the time to get himself straightened out.

Cloud turned his attention back to Sephiroth as the man began to speak.

"We've been ordered to Nibelheim on a routine inspection of the Mako Reactor there. I know it doesn't sound like the normal assignments we get handed to us, but they say there has been an outpouring of monster's in that area, and they want a few SOLDIER's with full escort to go check it out. We're to eliminate any monster's we come across, and check the reactor to see that it hasn't been damaged. The following list of men are going on the assignment . . . those of you not called will find yourselves with some leave time to take." He called out a list of names . . . seven in all. Cloud was one of them.

For some reason, Cloud had a vague sense of foreboding about this mission. Somehow, he sensed that no one would come back from this mission unchanged. He shrugged it off as being silly, and stood with the others to file out of the room to go pack.

If he had only know how much that mission would change life as he knew it.


End file.
